Da Bears

Harold Written by 

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"Da Bear" "Da Bear" Jake David Humphrey

What follows are a series of three “Bear Tales” involving actual Bears.

 

Let me say at the outset that I can’t vouch for the accuracy of the first two of these here "Bear Tales."

Now I’m not suggesting for a moment that none of this happened, but the sequence of events as I’ve recounted them may very well be out of order, and a few of the facts somewhat skewed, in that I’ve heard the story from several people, and no two versions are alike.

The last person to sketch it out for me was Dave Jackson, who, together with the Bear, played a staring role in Tale #1, so if there are any complaints – take it up with him.

I also decided to tell the first Tale from the Bear’s perspective, although if I got it wrong, unfortunately the Bear will not be in a position to correct me, so you’re just going to have to trust me on this one.

Tale #1

Dave Jackson’s “Great Bear” Adventure

As the story goes, one fine morning a Grizzly decided to pay a visit to Plummer’s GBL Lodge.

At one point it was apparently sighted sitting in Pike Mikes boat, but as to where the “Piker” was at the time, and exactly what the Bear was up to remains a mystery to this day.

As there was apparently nothing of any particular interest in the boat, it then ripped apart a BBQ, no doubt hoping to find something to nibble on.

That same morning Terry Grant, who was coming out of the lodge with a coffee in one hand and a cookie in the other, came face to face with said Bear.

Having struck out with the BBQ, it clearly had designs on Terry, the cookie or perhaps both, so he was forced to beat a hasty retreat with the Bear in hot pursuit, and took refuge in Chuk’s cabin.

Terry was apparently yelling for Reid to get the gun and take care of business, but his calls for assistance went unanswered.

Perhaps because Terry had finished the cookie or the Bear just got tired of waiting, it ambled on over to Guide Land, where Jackson made its acquaintance.

Dave, who been doing laundry just prior to his encounter, was chased into a cabin where, while barricaded in the shitter, sent out a series of frantic messages on his In-Reachin hopes of getting someone to come to his rescue.

With all of the commotion going on, Chummy got wind of what was happening, and appeared on the deck of his cabin with rifle in hand, wearing nothing more than a pair of socks, and without missing a beat, took the Bear out with a single shot.

Tale #2

Da Bear’s Eye View

Like most Bear’s in this part of the world, I woke up hungry, and the fact that I was going to have to go scrounging didn’t improve my mood any – but then again I’ve never been accused of being a jovial sort of guy.

Come to think of it, maybe I’ll wander on over to Plummer’s, and see what they have laying around that a hungry Bear might like.

I’ve been over there a few times, and food can be relatively easy to come by, especially when there are people around.

The only thing I really have to watch out for is that miserable old bugger Chummy Plummer, because all of us in the Bear community know he doesn’t appreciate us visiting the lodge, and that if he ever got you lined up in the crosshairs of his rifle – that would probably be all she wrote.

Oh well, nothing comes easy in these parts, so I’ll just have to be extra careful.

Ambling past a line of boats, the smell of fish was pretty strong, especially from one boat in particular, so I climbed in and rummaged around - but no cigar. I sat there a while contemplating my next move, when I spotted a BBQ over by one of the buildings.

It smelled awful good, so I decided to disassemble it Bear style, but other than some tasty meat drippings, there was nothing to really chow down on.

I was about ready to head back into the bush in hopes of finding some berries or whatever, when I saw some guy coming out of the lodge carrying of all things – a cookie!

Now cookies are my absolute favourite, so I figured why not give him a good chasing, and with any luck scare him into dropping the cookie, but then again, if I happened to catch him before he dropped it – what the hell – I’d have a twofer’.

Man could that guy run!

I barley got started after him before he was inside one of the buildings, and if you can believe it, slammed the door right in my face, and then started yelling his fool head off!

Well buddy, I don’t see anyone coming to the rescue, and you gotta’ come out sometime. Me, I’ve got all day, so I’ll just hunker down and wait.

After a while it got really boring, and with him and his precious cookie still locked behind closed doors, I reluctantly decided to move on, in hopes of finding something to sink my teeth into.

“Guideland” seemed to be my best bet, because most of the guys that stay there are real slobs, and always leave food, and all kinds of other cool stuff just lying around for the taking.

Coming around the corner of a cabin, I surprised some dude carrying a basket of cloths – unfortunately it wasn’t a picnic basket - and after taking one look at me, he hightailed it outta there like he’d been shot out of a gun.

This was getting ridiculous. Why all the fuss? Just toss me a few scraps and I’m gone – for now anyway.

Did you ever get that feeling you were being watched?

Well, guess who was watching me from the deck of his cabin?

Go on and take a guess.

It was none other than that old rascal Chummy himself, and to top things off, he wasn’t wearing much more than a smile!

Seriously? The man needs to go back inside and put some cloths on.

I moved a bit closer to get a better look, and saw that he was holding something in his hands, which could either be a rifle, or maybe he was just glad to see me – nope, it’s definitely a – ohhhh shit…

Tale #3

Paul Reynolds and “Da Other Bear”

Dave also passed along a very funny anecdote featuring yet another Grizzly and Paul Reynolds.

Paul, who was sharing a cabin with Rob Stewy at Trophy Lodge, woke up one morning only to find the better part of a Bears nose sticking through one of the cabin windows.

In very typical Paul fashion, he crawled out of his bunk, casually walked over to the window, closed it, said good morning to Stewy, and then lay back down without uttering another word.

This was a perfect example of Paul just being Paul.

 

Bear photo courtesy of Jake David Humphrey 

Last modified onTuesday, 18 September 2018 12:22
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